Friday, 22 February 2013

Saying "no", Part II

See my previous post - Saying "no"
This time is saying "no" to friends. I am talking about serious requests and times when they ask a favour from me.

One of the most difficult part of saying "no" to family and friends is that it kind of puts an awkward kink in the relationship. The moment you say the magic word it is as though you don't trust them. Sometimes it is not a matter of how much you trust them or how deep the friendship is, it is that I don't believe in putting blind faith in a person's actions even he/she may appear to have a good character, personality or has exceptional IQ. Being a very rational person, I will weigh the pros and cons of my subvention.

"Help within our means" this is what we should be telling ourselves. When it is clear that by agreeing to a request or favour, one is going to be weighed down by risks, conscience or responsibility beyond one's ability to handle, there is no better choice than to say "no" regretfully. One simple way is by asking oneself - Will I be able to sleep tonight if I say "yes"?

Saying "yes" maybe an easy way out of a friendship predicament but salvaging the trouble when something happens would prove to be a bigger predicament. Something that we should always bear in mind.

If a good friend is really a good friend he/she would understand or take the "no" in stride. Otherwise he/she might be angry for a while and then be back to normal self. For kinship it will forever be kinship even with a hundred "no". So-called 谈钱伤感情 is a famous saying that can't be reiterated enough.

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